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September 24, 1996

I love to watch a dick slamming in and out of a cunt or an asshole. The only way T.V. could enhance Wendy’s is if it was confined to a showing non-stop hardcore pornography without sound. No ridiculous assertion of plot or personality. Just the real pleasure of lacking language. Just a reassuring view of the signifier itself and it finds its way to its ancient hiding place in broad daylight.

--

u really love me

it makes u feel excited, even if its never

the way it seems

we are going to get out

Be With Me, 2005

Your Existing Situation Is pretty laid-back and is able to act calm in almost any situation. she enjoys feeling relaxed and to be in the company of her friends and family. Your Stress Sources "Needs to meet people who have the same high principals and values as himself, but finds the need unfulfilled. her need to feel dominate and superior leaves her feeling isolated and does not allow for her to give freely of himself. she would like to surrender and let go, but sees that as a weakness she must not give in to. Holding back will allow her to stand out for the crowd and earn a higher status, recognized by others as unique and important." Your Restrained Characteristics Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation. "Believes her hopes and dreams are realistic, but needs reassurance from others. Has strict standards when looking for a partner and wants guarantees that she will not be disappointed or lose." Current events leave her feeling forced into compromise in order to avoid being cut off from affection or future cooperation. Your Desired Objective "Always trying to make a good impression on others, and is constantly watching to see if she is succeeding in this. Is interested in how others react to him; this makes her feel in control. Strategically plans out ways to gain further influence over others and special recognition. Is easily distracted by the pleasingly beautiful and original." Your Actual Problem "Impressed by unique and one of a kind things, and by people with exceptional personalities. Tries to takes the characteristics she likes in other people and apply it to herself as well as coming across as a unique individual."

sext to an alien

i want u to rip off my skin and play with it like play-doh and take out my right eye switch it with urs; i wanna see what u see. it's better when u don't say anything. paint roses with my blood on the walls - rip out my teeth and make jewelry. ARE U GOOD? ARE UOK? stop!! don't go back.. take me with u

manic bi-monthly newsletter

hey everybody, it's me again. still dead inside - always
what did i think i was missing?
waste of time, waste of space
do you like me? is that what i want?
pills pills pillssssssssss
the truth feels ok, for a little while
can we run away? is it real out there?
i'm dreaming,im dreaming
go back to bed



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nihilism as a coping method

i pick at a scab on my face while thinking of you. it’s giving me a pain in my stomach that is on the verge of being more than uncomfortable. i don’t know why you’re so scared of everything. nothing matters anyway!! at all!!!!! my shoes are comfortable but my leg is sore from sitting the same way for forty-four minutes. i want to go home and lie down and drink soda. i’ve been drinking [enough] water for the past week or so and my skin’s just getting worse. i didn’t even notice it but then i was messing around with my bangs and then i saw my forehead and it looked like a tiny pepperoni pizza. i don’t even like pepperoni pizza. ok, it’s alright, but it’s not my favorite, i guess. you won’t text me back now. i wish i couldn’t pinpoint the exact time that i morphed right back into the insecure compulsive liar i was when i was twelve. i stopped being a compulsive liar because i wanted to complain more. complaining isn’t as fun as i thought it would be. it seems to drive people away and it gets old after a few years. it’s sunny outside and i wish i’d worn a skirt, but if i did i’d be pulling up my socks every two minutes. maybe i’ll change when i get home. there isn’t any logic to that but i’ll probably do it anyway. i’m already starting to despise myself for it so i hope i’ll resist the urge. maybe i should just start checking the damn weather. i’m hesitant to because i think, “what makes you think you know what the weather’s gonna be like!!! who do you think you are!!!!!!” maybe i’m just jealous of the weather-people. i don’t know how to get that job. obviously you don’t have to be attractive or have a good haircut from what i’ve seen, but you probably have to shower everyday. and wear pencil skirts. and either wear skin-colored pantyhose or shave your legs everyday during your daily shower. i don’t want to shower everyday. i don’t even want to shower every year. what a waste of time! why create human bodies to get all gross and dirty so quickly? i can’t lie my way out of this anymore and i don’t know how to hide. i feel like my personality relies on me having several boyfriends in their mid-20s. i don’t know where i’ll be without them! i don’t know who i am!!!!!!!! i don’t know!!!!! i feel like i’m in a cold sweat after waking up from a nightmare. i feel like i’m asleep but now that i think about it it makes me feel weird ‘cause when you’re dreaming you don’t really know it and it’s your reality right then but then you wake up and it’s so unreal and you can’t picture it like you can picture a real memory!!! i have a bad memory so i can’t do that anyway. how vivid is a dream… in a way dreaming is just another world, another life maybe the dream me sleeps during the day and dreams of going to school and doing mundane things and being sad all the time -- i hope not, cus that’d be really sad for her, but at least during her real life she gets to have fun. what do you even do to treat nightmares? maybe she can do that and we can both be happier! i feel like choking up like you do before you cry but i made a new year’s resolution to not cry but that’s stupid i’m stupid and it should’ve been to cry more, maybe into my water bottles to give them a little more flavor because they’re so fucking bland as it is… just like my life! kill me! i want to live in a dream! if i had ambien right now i wouldn’t be conscious anymore

3000 ways to get in the CHRISTMAS SPIRIIT

it's hard 2 get into the christmas spirit without the idea of santa looming over u everyday, so here is my personal reference for christmassy things

my christmas playlist

underrated christmas movies: (who knows if theyre underrated i haven't watched them. i'm just TIRED of the same movies every year, u know?!)
merry christmas mr lawrence (???????? it has david bowie)
little match girl
santa company
nutcracker fantasy
white christmas
christmas in august 
the tower
christmas christmas
santa claus is a stinker
happy erotic christmas
the christmas angel
2046
rare exports
fanny and alexander
black christmas
miracle: devil claus' love and magic
komaneko christmas (kind of an anime special but the original is a movie too so whatever)
tokyo godfathers

christmas games: (some of these are kinda campy but all cute at the same time)
the christmas story
holiday hijinks
the yule fabulous
wish upon a christmas
on the eve of xmas
christmas sweaters
mikumiku date xmas
christmas eve memories
anton's vacation
christmas
secret santa
the christmas question
a tsundere carol

anime christmas specials: (i plan to watch a ton even if i don't even watch the anime i just love seeing anime girls in christmas hats, so much)
itsudatte my santa
the disappearance of haruhi suzumiya
chuunibyou
mermaid melody
lucky star
gintama
chocotto sister
ef: a tale of memories
azumanga daioh
vandread
mahoromatic
cardcaptor sakura
honey and clover
toradora
tokyo mew mew
baka to test
kiss x sis
usagi drops
winter garden
love hina (look at htose fucking girls)
guilty crown
di gi charat

also, christmas hentai